• Beijing it aint, but the folks from Heeb have concocted a Semitic version of the Olympiad. Other videos from the series include Disconnecta Yenta, the Penny Pick-Up and Gefilte Fish Wrestling.
• Madonna compared John McCain to Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe, and the ADL isn’t pleased.
• Meanwhile, Madonna hubby Guy Ritchie doesn’t share his wife’s affinity for Kabbalah, saying he prefers to stay “objective.”
• Israeli rabbis have a beef with Uruguay’s president.
• A shofar recovered from the Thames is found to be reaaaally old, just not as old as was hoped.
• The Dalai Lama gets a tallis.
• A biographer has revealed that Austrian Jewish actress Heddy Lamar was forced into a sexual relationship with Adolf Hitler by her first husband.
• The Miami Herald tells the story of nearly 400 Jewish youth who fled Cuba for America in the 1960s.
• The Chicago Tribune recounts how state courts wrestled with the question of whether or not to enforce the will of a Jew who nixed his descendants’ inheritance for marrying outside the fold.
• The Independent (UK) explains how two Picassos once owned by a wealthy German Jewish banker made their way from Nazi Germany into the hands of two New York museums.
• An Egyptian film critic expresses incredulity at his government’s decision to ban the release of Adam Sandler’s “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan.”

• Kenneth Cole features what is probably the first hasidic Jew in a Kenneth Cole ad:
  
• Oy gevalt, you should only know how many Yiddish and Hebrew influences have found their way into American English already, writes the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in a piece on the upcoming Survey of North American Jewish Language by linguist Sarah Bunin Benor sociologist Steven M. Cohen, faculty members at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion.
• On JTA Election Central, Eric Fingerhut asks whether a typo in an Associated Press report on vice presidential speculation unconsciously channels the feelings of many Democrats about Joe Lieberman, the 2000 Democratic VP pick.
• Australia’s The Age newspaper discovers the “double mitzvah” of Friday night.
• The Jerusalem Post ran a story about how the haredi followers of Rabbi Aharon Leib Steinman say the fighting in Georgia stopped as soon as Georgia’s prime minister got a blessing by phone from the rabbi.
• U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice wants to see Saudi women compete in the Olympic Games. Those burkas might make it a bit difficult in the pool and on the uneven bars, however.
• Linday Lohan’s dad confirmed his daughter is considering converting to Judaism. “She’s exploring right now. She’s explored the Church of Scientology, she tried Kabbalah, and now this,” said Michael Lohan. “I think it’s just another phase. But either way, she’s involving God in her life, and I’m happy about that.”
• The Press-Enterprise of San Bernardino, Calif., reports on the uncertain future of a local synagogue.

Actress Lindsay Lohan with girlfriend Samantha Ronson

Pop-tart Lindsay Lohan is apparently contemplating conversion to Judaism in order to be closer to her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. According to the BANG Showbiz news service,

“Sam’s family is Jewish. Lindsay has learned a lot about Judaism from Sam and admires its beliefs.”

However, friends of the ‘Mean Girls’ actress have doubts about her intention to fully convert to the religion and think she is just doing it for attention.

The source added to Life and Style Weekly magazine: “Two years ago it was Kabbalah. Last year it was Alcoholics Anonymous. She was into ‘peace’ for a while. Whatever is of the moment, that’s Lindsay. But the one thing it does show is her commitment to Sam. She could be any religion and Lindsay would be open to it.”

More shtick:

• Jon Stewart and author Ron Suskind, who recently revealed that the Bush administration falsified evidence to retroactively justify invading Iraq, discuss an Iraqi general’s penchant for Yiddish on Monday night’s Daily Show.
• Daily Show correspondent Rob Riggle davened minchah at the Great Wailing Wall of China.
• The Onion adds its two cents to the Agriprocessors scandal.
• Jezebel asks Dr. Ruth about her feelings on sex during niddah, the period when a woman menstruates. Warning: Not for the faint of heart. And not halachically permissible (i.e., acceptable under Jewish law) by any stretch of the imagination. (Hat tip to EV.)
• A Roman pagan temple was unearthed in Israel’s Galilee region.
• Social Research: An International Quarterly of Social Sciences has devoted the entirety of its summer issue to the concept of martyrdom, giving special attention to Islam, and Palestinian society in particular, where “violent acts [are considered] cultural expression and [are] critically linked to collective imagination and memory.”
• “Rhinestone Cowboy” singer and former TV personality Glen Campbell divulged to Reuters his identity as a Baptist cum Messianic Jew (a.k.a. Jew for Jesus).
• Gothamist reports on the outrage sparked by the sale of Flatbush’s Kosher Gym to non-Jewish owners.
• The AP reports on Los Angeles Jewish organizations’ efforts to bridge the Jewish-Latino gap by reaching out to Pentecostals.
• Likewise, Mehnaz Afridi writes in the Khaleej Times on bridging the Muslim-Jewish divide.
• AlterNet writes on the rise of arranged marriages in America, chiefly among Orthodox Jews.
• The Sydney Morning Herald profiles author Naomi Ragen.
• The Detroit Free Press profiles Naomi Zaslow, a recent art school grad and ex-Orthodox lesbian, who uses her photography to “deconstruct her identity.”
• A guest blogger named Sam at the popular feminist blog Feministe just capped off two weeks’ worth of contributions on Jewish subjects. You can peruse the archive of her contributions here.

• The Detroit Free Press reports that “A Detroit-area military engineer accused in 1997 of passing secrets to the Israelis was targeted because of his Orthodox Jewish faith, the Defense Department’s Office of Inspector General said in a report.”
• The ruling DRP party of the island nation of Maldives, located roughly 700km southwest of Sri Lanka, attacked the opposing MDP party for bringing “white foreigners and Jews” into the country.
• Speaking at Rabbi Marc Schneier’s Westhampton synagogue, New York governor David Paterson called himself “a son of Israel” and acknowledged having Jewish ancestors. The governor also characterized the Hampton Jewish community’s struggle to put up an eruv as a civil rights issue.
• New York’s JFK international airport got a kosher vending machine.
• Newsweek reports on kiddush clubs and alcohol abuse in the Orthodox community.
• Jewschool reports that an Israeli actor will play Saddam Hussein in an upcoming BBC drama.
• Eunice Pollack’s new “Encyclopedia of American Jewish History” examines the Jewish community’s role in shaping contemporary American culture.
• Scotland got its first kosher kilts — or tartans, to be precise.
• Sixty Six, a new British comedy about a bar mitzvah boy competing for attention with the World Cup finals, debuted over the weekend.
• The NY Daily News reports on a 44 year-old Brooklyn man who fought through his cerebral palsy in order to celebrate his bar mitzvah.
• The AP tells the story of a Shoah survivor and her gentile rescuer who have lived “like sisters” in Warsaw since 1942.
• Chabad won a lawsuit against a Florida town that tried to prevent it from leasing city property to open a Chabad house.
• The NY Times has a feature on The Jewish Channel, the relatively new on-demand Jewish cable network run by Elie Singer, son of former head of the World Jewish Congress Israel Singer.
• Jerusalemite shares an Al Jazeera video about Jerusalem cuisine, reluctantly admitting, “They did a great job.”
• Israeli authorities used explosives to demolish an apartment building in eastern Jerusalem built without a permit.
• The Forward reports on a growing trend among religious Zionists in Israel to use the fast of Tisha B’Av to mourn Israel’s 2005 withdrawal from the Gaza strip.

• This video demonstration of how electrocuting a pickle is like being a Christian has been making the rounds over the last few days.
• Not only is Ivanka Trump back with her Jewish boyfriend, Jared Kushner, but now there’s talk that she’s planning to convert to Judaism.
• Britney Spears has become romantically involved with her Israeli bodyguard.
• Naomi Campbell compared Kabbalah to Alcoholics Anonymous.
• BoingBoing’s Cory Doctorow shares a dramatic reading of his story “The Super Man and the Bugout,” which imagines Superman as a nice Jewish boy from Toronto.
• The Palm Beach Post chimes in on the debate over Jews and tattoos.
• Former Barak staffer Daniel Levy chimes in on Joe Klein’s anti-neoconservatism.
• The Boston Globe looks at the Agriprocessors fallout and the ethical implications of kashrut.
• The U.K.’s Independent claims that Jewish Beverly Hills residents are trying to prevent Arab investors from buying property in the area.
• Times Online interviews British Jewish comic Josh Howie.

Max Blumenthal goes underground — literally — to report on David Irving’s secret appearance in New York.

Plus…

• Chief Rabbi to women: Give up your maiden name.
• USA Today: Messianic Jewish inmate says he’s Jewish, prison says he’s Protestant.
• Baptist couple and their grown children convert to Judaism in Austin after hearing a Jew lecture on Torah in their church.
• A crackdown on forced marriages in Britain may inadvertently affect fervently Orthodox Jews by barring marriage under age 21.
• NBA players visit Seeds of Peace camp. Teens in Canada prepare for cruise with Israelis and Palestinians.

• According to New York magazine, “D.J. Peter Rosenberg, a self-proclaimed ‘nerdy Jewish kid’ from Chevy Chase, Maryland, will be hosting the 5 to 7 a.m. slot” on New York’s Hot 97 radio station.
• Also via NYM, Ivanka Trump has reunited with her Jewish ex.
• Nazi hunter Efraim Zuroff believes he is zeroing in on Aribert Heim, the Nazi physician known as “Doctor Death.”
• The LA Times reports that the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles has teamed up with Hollywood talent agent David Lonner to organize birthrightesque trips to Israel for Tinseltown bigwigs.
• Video news site Jerusalem Online claims Iranian hackers are trying to disrupt a message on their website to the Iranian people from Conference of Presidents’ executive vice chairman Malcolm Hoenlein.
• Ha’aretz gushes over Katie Couric’s visit to Israel.
• AFP looks at Beirut’s dwindling Jewish community.
• A member of the Spinka chasidic sect, which has been under investigation for tax fraud and money laundering, has admitted to bilking the federal government out of $300,000 in taxes.
• The other Telegraph reports on the controversial exploits of British pro-knitter Rachael Matthews, which includes a series of knitting designs featuring international dictators, such as Idi Amin and Adolf Hitler.
• A pamphlet surfaced in Israel that threatens the “soldiers of the occupation army” with terrorism and death should they not leave the Middle East. Its author was not an Islamic militant, however. It was Menachem Begin, then the leader of a Jewish militant organization, addressing the British roughly 60 years ago.
• Father Robert Sirico writes thoughtfully on religion, anti-authoritarianism and liberty in The Australian.
• In Salon: “The beauties of religion need to be saved from both the true believers and the trendy atheists, argues compelling religious scholar James Carse.”