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Does Maxim have a Jewess problem?

Forget about The New York Times Magazine. Maxim this week released its list of the five "unsexiest women alive." See if you notice a pattern:

  • Sarah Jessica Parker (Jewess)
  • Amy Winehouse (Jewess)
  • Sandra Oh (plays Jewess on top-rated television drama)
  • Madonna (Kabbalist)
  • Britney Spears (ex-Kabbalist)

UPDATE: I've received some complaints from Maxim fans who say I've ignored the magazine's "Women of the IDF" tribute. Fine, so the question is whether the magazine has an American Jewess problem.

Comments RSS Feed Reader Comments

Alan Abbey

11/19/07 10:54 AM

Hey, Ami - How about Maxim’s Aug. 2007 cover feature on the girls of the IDF? With a controversial launch party in NY, and, now, a Hebrew edition here in Israel.

Fact is, they’re right about those women, too, with the possible exception of Britney (3 years ago) and did you Sandra Oh in that winetasting movie?

Ed Rendell

12/12/07 10:27 AM

Hi, dumb-dumb.  Three of them aren’t actually Jews.  But I could find five unsexier women without leaving my apartment building.  Amy Winehouse and Britney aren’t prize pigs by any means, but they do remind me of the Queen song: “Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go ‘round.” Sara Jessica Parker is what anthropologists refer to as a “Butter Girl.”

Still and all, Jewesses are prone to being dogs.  I went to Penn and can confirm that’s the case.  Oof-fa!  The hot girls at the Hillel are double-baggers and a pretty asian girl who isn’t stuck in her books can write her ticket. 

There’s a reason why every hausfrau on Long Island spontaneously develops a diagnosis of terminal “deviated septum” that absolutely *needs* surgery.  I wouldn’t know you from a hole in the wall, but I bet you are either dumpy or have a big schnozz.  I bet you also have a withering yenta voice and a pushy attitude.

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